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Come one, come all and gather 'round for Amy's first official recap for LOSTblog!
NOTE: Mock Locke is my term for the new Locke in town. I do not announce: back at the plane, back on the island, etc. when I run down the scenes. I've got a good reason for this. Trust me! I'm resisting adding a lot of my own theory to the recap, but I will be doing the aohora "Things I Noticed" pretty soon.
Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy!
When we last left our losties (oh so MANY months ago):
Things were not good.
Juliet was smacking the bomb at the bottom of big hole Razinsky had been drilling into the ground (before everything went all uber magnet crazy, Stephen King style), Jack and Kate were dragging a distraught Sawyer away from the site, Hurley and Miles were at the Dharma van watching Sayid bleed to death (gunshot wound to the gut), Richard and posse were standing (on the beach next to the statue) over Locke's dead body (hand-delivered by Illana and her merry band of droogs), while Mock Locke (under the statue) stood over Jacob's bleeding body (courtesy of Ben's "You never paid any attention to me when I was a kid, and now you're gonna pay for it with your life" stab wounds). Jacob whispered, through the gross and goopy blood in his mouth, that "They're coming." Mock Locke registered the message and kicked Jacob's dying body into the weird eternal flame looking thing in the middle of the floor.
Final Scene: A broken, bloody Juliet keeps smacking and cursing the bomb until: Cool end-of-LOST slamming door noise. Cut to
A white screen. Black letters read: "LOST."
End LOST Season 5
And for NINE LONG MONTHS LOST fans have waited (and waited and WAITED) and wondered:
- Did the bomb exploding prevent the Swan Hatch from ever being built, consequently preventing Oceanic 815 from ever crashing to the island, erasing the last 5 years of the show? (reset theory)
- Did the bomb exploding split our losties' existence into parallel universes where during season 6 we'll see what continues to happen to them on the island AND what could have happened if they'd landed safely in LA? (alternate time line)
- Who's coming?
- How on Earth did Jack survive getting clocked in the head by that flying red toolbox?
Begin LOST Season 6 (YAY!)
6.01 & 6.02 - "LA_X" & "LA_X 2"
A brief review of "Previously on LOST."
After Juliet smacks the bomb one last time, we fade-in to Jack (lookin' SMOKIN' hot in a very black suit), peering out the window of a plane. He turns to chat vodka with Cindy, our favorite up-til-now-mysteriously-missing-flight-attendant. Turbulence nearly gives him a heart attack. A nearby Rose comforts him. A few bumps later, she tells him he "can let go now." Jack seems a bit amazed by events, but happy that "They made it." Bernard joins Rose. They trade "missed you's." Jack smiles and gets up.
Jack enters the bathroom and examines his reflection - his face - closely in the mirror. He notices a small, red mark under his left collar. He wipes it with a tissue.
He returns to his row to find a Salman Rushdie readin' Desmond relaxed in the aisle seat. Jack sits and ponders Desmond. Jack asks "Do I know you from somewhere?" Since Desmond's answer's "I'm not sure," they make introductions, shaking hands. Jack, now even more amazed, turns to the window.
We follow his gaze out the airplane window, into the clouds and down, down, down into the ocean. We pass a school of fish, then fly over the Dharma barracks (complete with swing set and picket fence) lining the ocean floor. We jump the Dharma Shark (HAHAHAHAHAHA!), swing 'round a brick structure then pull back to reveal: the LEFT foot of the statue. (Cheers, Donald!)
* * * * *
Pre-incident shenanigans. Juliet smacks the bomb one last time (again)--we fade-in to Kate's eye as she wakes up--in a tree (?). She somehow manages to climb down the tree without breaking her neck and finds Miles, Jack and Sawyer. She confirms: that huge crater in the ground? Yeah, that's the hatch. But it's the hatch as it was after Desmond turned the key (back in Season 2's finale). This observation does not make Sawyer happy. "You blew us right back where we started!" Jack says he's sorry. He thought it would work.
* * * * *
Jack walks down the aisle to the restroom (again?). The Marshall waits for Kate, who bumps into Jack on her way out. Jack smiles at her back. The Marshall serves Kate airplane lasagna (vegetarian according to Darlton) but preemptively pockets the knife and fork. Sawyer bumps the Marshall as he meanders by. Kate hides her cuffs. Sawyer & Kate trade looks before he continues to his seat. Across the aisle, Artz is begging Hurley to re-enact his "shrimp on the barbie" commercial for Mr. Cluck's chicken. Hurley admits he won the lottery. Sawyer tells Hurley not to tell people he's won the lottery--they might take advantage of him. Hurley disagrees: "Nothing bad ever happens to me. I'm the luckiest guy alive."* * * * *
Hurley sits leaning on the Dharma van, a bleeding Sayid on the ground nearby. Jin (like Kate and Miles) says his ears aren't working too good. They hear yelling. Jin takes off to find help for Sayid, who's awake but not lookin' so good.
Sawyer, obviously upset, argues with Jack over whether the bomb went off (pretty clear to Sawyer: nuke detonation NOT possible). Jin appears with a help request for Sayid. Kate hears a weak cry for help. It's coming from the hatch--It's Juliet. They all frantically clear debris from the opening.
Hurley gags as Sayid coughs up blood, ponders the possibly uncool afterlife awaiting him and passes out. Hurley hears rustling in the jungle. He awkwardly readies a gun. Jacob appears next to him.
Jacob: "Hello Hugo. Gotta minute?"
* * * * *
Sun admires Rose and Bernard canoodling a few rows ahead of them. Jin tells her to button her sweater. Locke reads up on Oceanic In Case Of Emergency procedures. Frogurt snoozes next to him. Boone swigs OJ and comments that surviving a plane crash is unlikely. Locke disagrees. They trade "So why were you in Australia?" stories: Boone says he went to pick up his sister but left her behind at her request. Locke describes his walkabout. Boone says: "This thing goes down, I'm stickin' with you."
* * * * *
Mock Locke wipes his knife with an acquired piece of rug as Ben absorbs what's happened. Ben has questions ("Why was that so easy?"), and Mock Locke has answers ("Because Jacob's a quitter.") and orders ("Richard and I need to chat. Retrieve him.")
Richard throws a fit when Illana and her droogs (whom, Frank confides to Sun, are probably a bunch of freaks and definitely not the "Good Guys") want to check on Jacob. Ben approaches and delivers his message: "Of course Jacob's alright. They're both together inside. John just wants to talk to you." Richard's N-O-T interested. He shoves Ben's shocked face into Locke's corpse. "I think you should talk to him first [Jerky]!"Kate, Miles, Jin, Jack and Sawyer keep digging for Juliet. Operation beam removal hits a snag, and Sawyer sends Jin back for the van.
Jacob walks barefoot through the jungle with Hurley close behind. Hurley peppers him with questions. They approach the van. Jacob ponders a lifeless Sayid. Jacob briefs Hurley on the facts: Jacob's been dead 'bout an hour, killed by an "old friend who grew tired of my company," Sayid's only chance of being saved is if Hurley gets him to the temple (Jin's got directions) and that guitar case I made you drag here from LA? Yeah, bring that with you cuz it'll come in handy.
(Lucky Hurley can see the dead, right?)
Jin appears, Jacob disappears and Hurley verifies Jacob's facts on the way to the hatch. Sawyer swears revenge on Jack.
* * * * *
Desmond reads while Jack stares ahead (in one of the SNEAKIEST shots in the ENTIRE premiere). Cindy requests that any doctor on board "please press your call button." A soft 'bing!' Jack looks up from his pondering when Cindy arrives. She turns off the aisle call light, and asks Jack if he's a doctor. Jack follows Cindy to the locked bathroom door. Sayid offers his assistance and kicks it down. Jack takes a man's hand and reports that "he's not breathing." An ashen-faced Charlie lies motionless against the wall.
Cindy hurries with a med kit. Sayid assists Jack who quickly ascertains 1) something's blocking Charlie's air passage, 2) his pen is missing, 3) there's "nothing sharp" (on the plane) due to "regulations" and 4) there don't seem to be any pens on the flight either (odd). Jack jams his fingers into Charlie's mouth and pulls out a very, VERY small clear baggie of (we assume) heroin. Charlie immediately comes to, coughs and asks if he's alive.
* * * * *
Jack wraps a VERY shiny (and familiar) chain around that stinkin' beam. Operation beam removal is a success, and Sawyer hurries to Juliet. She wakes up. "Where are we?"
Juliet's not happy "it didn't work," especially after she smacked that bomb her own darn self to make sure Sawyer never came to the island (stupid bomb!). Sawyer moves stuff around to free her. Kate leans over the hatch. Jack examines Sayid in the van. Jin, Miles and Hurley hover at the door. Jack says Sayid is pretty much screwed. Hurley tells the tale of Jacob. They are going to the temple.Ben dares Richard to go talk to Mock Locke. Richard's not buying it. Illana's droogs grab Ben and storm the statue. Mock Locke: "Oh good. I needed to talk to you guys anyway." He assures the droogs, "Jacob's bodyguards," that there's nothing left for them to protect. "You can go. You're free." When the droogs attack, Ben ducks for cover and Mock Locke vanishes. The smoke monster enters and makes quick work of the droogs. Bram's attempt to save himself with a circle of ash fails (cuz that smoke monster, he's a thinker). Mock Locke reappears behind a terrified Ben.
Mock Locke: "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
[About 20% of the beach premiere crowd went wild when they heard that!]
Sawyer snuggles Juliet. She asks for a kiss, happily mutters something completely inappropriate (about going for coffee and paying dutch?). She swears she's got something REALLY IMPORTANT she HAS to tell him but then croaks before she can get it out (figures). Poor Sawyer weeps. Sawyer carries Juliet's body. Sawyer to Jack: "You did this."
* * * * *
Burly flight attendants zip cuff Charlie and lead him past Jack. Charlie: "Shoulda let that happen, man. I was supposed to die." Cindy tells him to blow it off. He returns to his seat. Desmond is nowhere to be seen. He asks Rose about it. Rose says she and Bernard were sleeping. The pilot announces impending landing (and nice weather in LA). Rose "You're almost home." Sawyer, Hurley, Sayid, Jin (lookin' the the watch), Sun, Boone, Frogurt, John Locke, Cindy, Kate, and The Marshall all prepare for landing. The plane touches down.
Cops come aboard and haul Charlie away (but they are cool enough to grab his guitar case on the way out). Jack, one of the last to leave, nods at John as flight attendants load him into a mini wheelchair and wheel him away.
* * * * *
The Operation Save Sayid Crew prepares to depart. Sawyer stays behind and sneaky asks Miles to help him bury Juliet. Sawyer carries Juliet away. Our Crew carries Sayid into the jungle.
* * * * *
Jack hears his name over the PA. He reports to the courtesy desk and is politely informed that "there's been a mix up involving the cargo," meaning they never put Christian's coffin on Oceanic 815. Not only did it miss the flight, but now it's just plain missing.
* * * * *
Our Crew arrives at "the wall where Jin was with the French team," which is actually a hole in the ground UNDER the wall. They lower Sayid down. Kate lights a torch. Hurley finds a book (Kierkagaard) and the armless body of Montaud. They creep past a familiar hole in the floor (where Ben fell through to the room below where his dead smoke monster/daughter threw down with him). Kate wanders ahead after hearing weird whispers. Jack chases after her with a flashlight. He hears Hurley and Jin (apparently under attack) and takes off. He gets all turned around in the maze of tunnels. More weird whispers. Two people appear outta nowhere, knock him out and drag him off.They pop Jack through a door, join the rest of Our Crew (surrounded by armed guards), and all are led to the temple, a large ancient-looking structure populated with hippie flavored, barefoot peeps busy with everyday (tech-free) chores.
* * * * *
Kate pulls the classic: "I really gotta pee" routine and escapes the Marshall. (She tries to use Jack's pen to pick the cuffs, but no joy.) She knocks him out, steals his gun, covers her cuffs with his jacket, reports him as an airport bathroom perv and bolts. She ends up in an elevator with Sawyer. He sees her cuffs and covers for her when airport cops enter the elevator. She takes off.
* * * * *
After Juliet is in the ground, Sawyer insists Miles help him figure out what really important thing Juliet wanted to say. Miles kneels, palms the fresh grave, makes all kinds of weird faces (during all kinds of weird noises) and delivers the message: "It worked." Sawyer is not impressed.
Uber-Hippy translates the message for the way cool Sensei-type dude in charge: "Who are you and why should I care?" Cindy (our stewardess!), rockin' the Other tan and sportin' a leather headband through her much longer, much curlier hair, verifies Our Crew's presence on the "first plane, Oceanic 815 along with me."
Unimpressed, Sensei orders them shot. Hurley drops Jacob's name and Hail Mary's the guitar case. Sensei opens the case and retrieves a large wooden ankh. He bows to it, snaps it in two, pulls out a message and does roll-call. Just slightly less impressed, he leads them through the door.
* * * * *
Jin and Sun wait for Mr. Customs Officer to go through Jin's luggage. He checks out the watch, claimed as a "business gift." When Jin ("No English") can't say exactly what business he's in, Mr. Customs Officer keeps snooping until he finds a pouch full of (undeclared) cash. Sun asks him about the money, Jin blows her off and Mr. Customs Officer takes Jin away. Ms. Customs Officer asks Sun (SHE CALLS HER MISS PAIK) to, if she can, clear things up if there's some kind of misunderstanding. Sun says, "No English."* * * * *
Our Crew enter a room with a large sunken whirlpool of churning brown water (that isn't supposed to be brown, apparently). Sensei slices open his hand and scowls when the water has no effect on it. "Are you SURE you want me to do this? There are risks." Jack says: Do whatever it takes.
Sensei's droogs carry Sayid into the water. Sensei flips over a huge hourglass. Our Crew watches helplessly as the droogs hold a now thrashing Sayid face down in the water. Sayid goes limp well before the timer goes off. Jack barely attempts to resuscitate Sayid's very lifeless body.
* * * * *
Sayid pulls Nadia's picture from his passport. He and Artz grab their luggage from the carousel. Kate walks through the crowd, her cuffs still covered with the Marshall's jacket. She sneaks out a secured exit and hustles to the front of the cab line. Frogurt throws her off the first one: "There's a LINE." Hurley chats business on his cell.
With the Marshall hot on her heels, Kate climbs into the closest cab, pulls a gun on the driver and tells him to BOOK IT! Claire (!), sitting behind the driver, looks none too happy with the situation. The cab squeals off just in the nick of time.
* * * * *
Our Crew sits quietly, heads hung low (everybody but Jin). Cindy appears with refreshments served by Zack and Emma (WHO HAVEN'T CHANGED ONE BIT IN WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN, WHAT? 3 YEARS?). Droogs show up with an unconscious Sawyer and a badly shaken Miles.
Uber-hippie fetches Hurley to Sensei (turkey speaks English!) for a casual chat over tea and banzai. Hurley gives them the 411 on Jacob: Um, he's not dropping by anytime soon cuz he's DEAD! They sound the alarm and prep the joint DEFCON style -- complete with lines of ash on the ground to "keep HIM out." They "send the warning" by popping off a (HUGE) flare.
Mock Locke tidies up the carnage while Ben resorts to name calling ("You're the monster") and complains about being used. Mock Locke fills Ben in on John Locke's last thoughts (you know, after Ben talked him out of hanging himself, strangled him to death anyway and strung him up like a turkey--HM. WONDER HOW MOCK LOCKE WOULD KNOW JOHN LOCKE'S LAST THOUGHTS?). Mock Locke mocks John Locke's last thoughts ("I don't understand"), then mocks John Locke as a "victim." John Locke was "weak, pathetic and irreparably broken." But he had his good points, Mock Locke continues, because he was the "only one of them" that didn't want to leave. "The only one who realized how pitiful the life he left behind actually was."
Ben: "What do you want?"
Mock Locke: "I want to go home."
Sawyer comes to. Kate fills him in and double-checks his kill-Jack-to-avenge-Juliet's-death plan. Sawyer says, nah. Let him suffer.
* * * * *
Jack paces in baggage claim (HAHAHAHAHAHA!). His mom gives him major crap on his cell phone for screwing up Christian's funeral. John Locke rolls up to the desk (turns out his case full of knives didn't make the trip). John and Jack get all metaphysical about Christian's missing body. Jack offers to check out John's spine. John: "No worries. It's irreversible." Jack: "Nothing's irreversible." John takes Jack's card and wheels away with a smile.
* * * * *
The super-size flare pops red in the sky. Richard and company stare stunned (Richard looking a bit more panicked than the rest). Mock Locke approaches.Mock Locke: "It's good to see you out of those chains."
Richard: blink-blink, "Holy ****!"
Mock Locke cold cocks him, yells at everyone else, slings Richard's limp body over his shoulder and marches off. Ben stares horrified at John Locke's crumpled corpse in the sand.
Uber-Hippie threatens to haul Jack away. Jack (turned to the hotboy I'VE been missing and ready to kick some butt) resists. Everyone stops mid-scuffle, and all jaws hit the floor when Sayid sits up. "What'd I miss?"
* * * * *
If you have comments or suggestions for this recap, please add them to the comments section below.
NEXT UP - 6.03 "What Kate Does"
SEASON 6 Recaps
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