Hurley's Guitar Case, how are you?
I'm sorry. I was happy to be referred to as a 'guitar case' last season. Help with the mystery and suspense and that. Fine. Whatever. But now that my contents have been revealed, I don't want to be referred to as a 'guitar case' any longer. I'm a bloody ankh god, I am.
Oo-kay. So I take it you knew the ankh was inside you all along?
Yep. All last year with everybody speculating 'What's in the guitar case?', I was just sitting back, grinning, thinking 'I know and you're all wrong'. It was fun being so incredibly smug and all-knowing. Now I know how Damon and Carlton feel.
What were the craziest suggestions you heard?
Somebody thought I had a tiny baby island in there. Another thought there were a series of ever-smaller guitar cases like those Russian dolls. And I remember one person thought the case contained a clone of J J Abrams. All crazy talk. Only Hurley and I knew the truth.
So Hurley did peek inside?
Of course he did. It's Hurley, dude. Of course he's going to have a little peek. Frankly, I was very surprised Jacob entrusted him with the mission of delivering me. Don't get me wrong. Hurley's a lovely guy, but I felt like saying to Jacob, 'mate, if you want that ankh delivered, why not use Federal Express?'
Presumably the Federal Express team don't deliver to the island.
Hey, it's "When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight!". Not "When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight except if you're sending to the Lost island". And it's not "When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight, but also via a trip to the 1970s and a nuclear explosion."
But you made it there in the end. Did you know there was a message inside the ankh?
That bit I didn't know. I had no idea. When that crazy temple guy started smashing the ankh to pieces, I was all like 'dude, who do you think you are? Jimi Hendrix?'
I'm assuming you don't know what was written on the paper then?
Nope.
Care to have a guess?
Hmmm... Maybe the chords for 'Smoke on the Water'?
Okay. Thanks for your time, Hurley's
As always, suggestions and questions for future interviews are welcome. Post them in the comments or tweet them to @SmokinMuffins)
