Welcome to Celebrity 101I've been asked to briefly clarify a few celebrity-related terms I've thrown around. After much consideration, I figured that the quickest (I'm sure you're thanking God) and easiest way to explain them is to give textbook examples of each one.
1. The Golden Moment
Briefly defined, a golden moment is a chance encounter with a celebrity that is "cool." It's usually positive, makes a good story and often results in a memento of some kind.
Example:
Remember that church youth group ski trip? One of the ladies chaperoning us was a brilliant musician -- classically trained pianist, perfect pitch, 4-octave singing voice -- the works. Her musical talent was developed early in life, and her parents (having big dreams for her future away from nowhere'sville, Mississippi) set her up with a voice coach who matched her with 2 other girls to form a singing group. Once the group had a little practice (in church, of course), the coach decided her girls were ready to hit the road and win some contests.
One such contest was at the Mississippi State Fair, which trolled around the state every fall. After singing (and losing to some guy with an accordion), the four of them walked around the game booths -- Ring Toss the Duck, Pop the Balloons with Darts, Baseball in the Basket -- that sort of thing. As they passed by the Knock the Pyramid of Little Bowling Pins Over Booth, a guy drew his arm back to throw and accidentally smacked our girl in the face! He turned around and apologized profusely. He made sure she was okay and threw balls at pins until he won the biggest prize, a huge stuffed animal, which he then gave to her with MORE apologies.
That guy was Elvis [effing] Presley.
Briefly defined, a golden moment is a chance encounter with a celebrity that is "cool." It's usually positive, makes a good story and often results in a memento of some kind.
Example:
Remember that church youth group ski trip? One of the ladies chaperoning us was a brilliant musician -- classically trained pianist, perfect pitch, 4-octave singing voice -- the works. Her musical talent was developed early in life, and her parents (having big dreams for her future away from nowhere'sville, Mississippi) set her up with a voice coach who matched her with 2 other girls to form a singing group. Once the group had a little practice (in church, of course), the coach decided her girls were ready to hit the road and win some contests.
One such contest was at the Mississippi State Fair, which trolled around the state every fall. After singing (and losing to some guy with an accordion), the four of them walked around the game booths -- Ring Toss the Duck, Pop the Balloons with Darts, Baseball in the Basket -- that sort of thing. As they passed by the Knock the Pyramid of Little Bowling Pins Over Booth, a guy drew his arm back to throw and accidentally smacked our girl in the face! He turned around and apologized profusely. He made sure she was okay and threw balls at pins until he won the biggest prize, a huge stuffed animal, which he then gave to her with MORE apologies.
That guy was Elvis [effing] Presley.
Unfortunately, this was before Elvis was really HUGE and our girl led too sheltered a life to recognize him. She didn't even keep the stuffed animal [ACK!!], and proceeded to go on with her life not realizing that she'd had the Granddaddy of ALL Golden Moments until she was older. She graduated from high school then quickly married a man who, eventually, preached that Rock 'N' Roll was "devil's music" because it incited youth to lose control, disobey their parents and have lots of sex. (Ironic, right?)
2. The Reverse Golden Moment
This is a little trickier to explain. The reverse golden moment is an encounter with a celebrity where you recognize them, they realize that you recognize them, and then you let them go (outta the goodness of your heart).
Example:
When I was in college (oh so many years ago), R.E.M. was BIG. I mean, mainstream, all-over-MTV big. They were on tour and (for some strange reason) did a gig in our crummy little town.
Later that weekend, my pal Christine was at a very crowded bar, inching her way past the barstools to the bathroom. She said it was shoulder-to-shoulder, one of those "this place is TOO flipping CROWDED!" nights. Anyway, she hit a slow spot and stood waiting for the mob to shift, so she could get by. She was belly to belly with a (shorter than her) guy. She prepared to say something funny and appropriate for the moment because she's "from the South, and that's just good manners."
When she looked down, she found herself locked eye-to-eye with Micheal Stipe [lead singer of R.E.M.], who saw that she recognized him. After a momentary rush of excitement, Christine noticed that he looked ABSOLUTELY terrified, worse than deer-in-headlights, scared to DEATH. She quickly put together that his being recognized in that bar with all those people would spark a near riot.
So she did the "only humane thing." She looked away and moved off like nothing ever happened.
How much you wanna bet he told that story to "the guys" on the tour bus?
(Me too!)
If you have a Golden Moment or even a Reverse Golden Moment, feel free to share in the comments section. They are more common than you think!
I'm sorry, but is there a celebrity out there sexier than Elvis in his prime?
I don't think so.
(Sorry Matt.)
