A WORD ON NAMESI have a confession to make. Except for Sherry, Dawn, Shawn, Tiffany and the actors on set, I've made up all the rest of the names on my posts. I should say it's to protect people's privacy, but the truth is I simply can't remember them. Instead of keeping them anonymous, I've chosen names I think represent them accurately or ones that MIGHT be their names.
However, I can't for the life of me remember the name of the guy who took this picture of me in The Jacket! I can't even think of a good substitute name! So from now on, this very kind person will be referred to as The Photographer.
BEHOLD THE JACKET
Does this jacket scream Beverly Hills Doctor's Wife to you? No?
That's what I said! Actually, I said "EWWWW!" when the 300 pound woman at wardrobe pulled it out. I quickly retracted [because she glared at me, and she was flipping scary] and blamed my outburst on lack of sleep and the early hour. I got the impression that not too many people crossed her on a regular basis and lived to tell about it. I apologized, thanked her profusely and skittered off to the hair line.
While I waited (and scratched Lulu's ears), I wondered why on Earth anyone choosing wardrobe for the day would choose to throw The Jacket into the truck. How did that decision past muster on any standard scale?
And why me? Before I donned The Jacket, I looked kinda like a Beverly Hills Doctor's Wife, or at least a Beverly Hills Doctor's Not So Cheap Girlfriend On The Side. In fact, I thought I looked well enough to pass for Beverly Hills Doctor's Adult Daughter Who Still Uses Daddy's Money To Go Shopping.
However, wardrobe took one look at me and pulled out the one garment (out of hundreds) that made me look 1) older, 2) fatter, 3) shorter, 4) dumpier and 5) like a homeless librarian.
All I had to go on to explain this phenomenon were the words of the beautiful (obviously unavailable) man from wardrobe who helped me put it on. He assured me The Jacket was "texture." From his tone I gathered this type of thing was an unfortunate but necessary aspect of filming. He suggested that'd I'd be grateful for The Jacket in the end because, I'd be "easy to spot" when the show aired.
Easy to spot, I thought, Sure. As in: "Awww, look -- she must have been Jack's deranged piano teacher!"
