So, I was an extra on LOST in Season 5 too.
THANK YER LUCKY STARS!
I promised my pals that I'd keep this down to one post (lazy bastards!). That won't be hard to do this time around because:
- I was without Sherry.
- I was finished by 11 a.m.
- I brought a small paper bag full of Halloween candy (the good stuff).
- Matthew Fox was about 4 feet away from me the entire time he was shooting.
First off, I have to tell you that I was a last minute hire. I was called at Friday, 5:30 p.m. to come in Monday morning at 5:30 a.m. to be the receptionist at the old folks home where Jack meets up with his Granddad ["316"]. I'm pretty sure the only reason they called me is because I listed "Available days with 24 hour notice and nights with 1 hour notice" at the bottom of my mini resume in VERY BIG, BOLD LETTERS, [so I'll be sure to put that at the TOP of my resume for Season 6].
As before, my caller congratulated me for "making it" and let me know that this shoot was super special because I'd be one of 4 extras on set under the age of 65. She told me to "dress appropriately" and call the magic number. She offhandedly mentioned Matthew Fox would be there but was more concerned that I remember to bring pantyhose. I told her, no problemo on the pantyhose, chica! I'm down!
I called Sherry immediately to tell her the news. She told me that she'd be and extra that week as well. You see, after a year of living in Hawai'i, poor Sherry couldn't find a decent paying job, so she decided it was time to head back to the mainland. However, she didn't want to leave without giving the extra thing one more go. So she called up Grass Skirt Productions and explained the situation (i.e. did "The Sherry"). The lady was instantly sympathetic and told Sherry she'd see what she could do. Sure enough, a few days later Sherry got the call to be background for the scene where everyone meets up at the airport (before relanding on the island, "316").
The lady must have put some kind of note on Sherry's resume because when she arrived, wardrobe had a pilot's uniform ready for her to wear! Sherry now has the distinction of being the ONLY female pilot EVER on the show (something even Jorge Garcia noted when they were standing around together).
This is also the shoot where Sherry discovered that she despises Matthew Fox.
THE OLD FOLKS HOME
After wardrobe fitted me with a perfectly bland but not horrifically ugly outfit, I was shipped out with the two extras playing orderlies. Wes, a University of Hawai'i undergrad, was a bit standoffish in that "I'm really hot, so I don't want you to accidentally think I'm interested in you if I'm nice to you" way, but the other guy, Todd, was very friendly [eventually, I won Wes over with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups]. Turns out, Todd is actually an orderly at The Arcadia, where we were shooting. He was called OVER THE WEEKEND to work the shoot on his day off (he didn't get overtime, tho, just the crap extra pay).
Todd was great to talk to because he was happy to gossip about the home. You should know that if you want to put your favorite old person in The Arcadia, you'll pony up $8,000 a month for the privilege. Yeah, 8 THOUSAND dollars every month! And this is in addition to 1) "buying" your room (called an "Entrance Fee," anywhere from 100 to 400 THOUSAND dollars) and 2) any medical expenses not covered by your medical insurance. He said that was why the orderlies and aids did everything they could to prevent the "patients" from falling and busting a hip or something. Medical treatment was not covered by the rent.
[8 GRAND. A MONTH. Barbaric!!]
When we arrived, we were led downstairs to have name tags made and learned that our PA for the day would be Norman Kali.
Norman, besides being very cool, is a local legend in these here parts. First, he is the only PA that's part native Hawaiian (related to the original guys on the islands before the white people landed). Second, he's been working with LOST since the pilot and has worked his way from the bottom rung to arrive at "The Director Talks to Me" PA status (aka assistant director) just under Uber PA. These two things make him a Big Deal to the general public. [They also, in my opinion, seem to protect him from harm when things go wrong.]
For example, Norman left Todd and me standing outside while he put Wes where he needed to be. While we were waiting, I gave Todd the skinny on STAYING PUT and knowing your PA's name. Sure enough, it wasn't long before Uber PA [the same one that sputtered in front of Victoria Hamel at Christian's funeral] charged up to us and asked us why we were standing around. I told him that Norman put us there. Uber PA didn't miss a beat but hollered for Norman who magically appeared [he's THAT good]. Uber PA said, "Find something for these two to do or just stick them inside outta the way."
Remember: POTTED PLANT.
Todd and I were sent inside and told to relax on the couches. We chatted for a while, but since he was an employee, all the old people wanted to know what he was up to on his day off, and I lost track of him for the rest of the day. I was a little out of it, so I lay down on the couch and plugged my ears with an ipod.
I'll tell you a little secret. If you are wearing an ipod and look like you might be sleeping, EVERYONE assumes that you can't hear them. AND if you leave said ipod OFF and lie still, you can hear some pretty cool stuff!
What I heard were two nurse aids, both female, sharing their concerns about the shoot. First, they laughed and admitted that it was weird to see mostly haoles [Hawaiian term for white people, pronounced HOW-lee] in the dining room and lobby. But, as one of them said, that's what they said they wanted when they asked for people to volunteer, as many haoles as you can find. These two also shared concerns that the shoot would cause some problems with the patients.
You see, what residents get for laying down an obscene amount of money is the full treatment. The Arcadia isn't run like any old old folks' home. It's run like a 5-star hotel, where every concern and complaint by every resident is sincerely considered and immediately tended to. It's full on, first class, premium service, and any interruption of that service creates alarm (and complaining).
These ladies were very respectful discussing their patients [respecting the elderly is one of the cool cultural things ingrained into everyone in Hawai'i], but they shared a few names of patients who were upset by the shoot because it interrupted their routine. These old folks could give a crap about filming LOST. They wanted to know why mid-morning bingo was canceled!
The last extra I met on set was Janet. She played a nurse, which worked out because she actually WAS a nurse (but not at The Arcadia). This was her first time, and since she was a fidgety-type person, she peppered me with tons of questions, mainly about why we were waiting around so much instead of shooting.
As we were talking, Mr. PA Man, the one who told me to "Show some RESPECT the CLOTHES!" at Christian's funeral, walked by! I cringed and briefly and quietly filled Janet in on the story. Janet said, "Oh my God! That guy looks just like the drunk I hired 2 years ago to paint my garage!"
[Yep. Instantly in love with Janet.]
GOD BLESS THOSE CAMERA ANGLES
Finally, after waiting for nearly 2 hours, we started shooting the scene. "Jack" was to walk past the desk with "Mr. Dorsey," who then stopped at the desk while "Jack" did his thing.Okay, take a good, long look at the picture here (CLICK PIC TWICE FOR ENLARGED VIEW). See that big stone wall? Keep that in mind because it's funny later.
Now look at Matthew Fox dead center in the background. See that desk behind him with the teeny, tiny guy with his back to the room? Just right of that guy is a big post with a nurse just on the other side. That teeny, tiny guy is "Mr. Dorsey" played by Ned Van Zandt (see top picture for close up). The nurse is Janet.
The scene, if you remember, runs like this: Mr. Dorsey shows Jack into the room. Jack goes and talks to his Granddad (surprise!). In the background, Mr. Dorsey "chats" at the desk, and the nurse puts a piece of paper on the desk and keeps going.
Notice anything missing? THAT'S RIGHT! Because I was sitting at the desk in front of Mr. Dorsey and the post was blocking me, I WAS NOT ON CAMERA! That meant that I got to enjoy everything about being on the set WITHOUT catching Uber PA's eye. As long as I didn't manage to really piss off Matthew Fox, I was golden!
Here's the summary:
1. The real receptionist's name was Gail, and she was a lot of fun. Between fielding calls from patients (mainly complaints), she and I spent a lot of time talking about Dustin, the location scout guy, and how much she was "cougar" crushing on him.
2. Ned Van Zandt is way cool. We got to chat quite a bit, mostly making fun of the fact that he had to pretend to talk to me. Gail set me up on the internet, and I looked Ned up. Turns out his first SAG job was on The Hardy Boys show. I asked him if Shaun Cassidy was a total bitch. He said, "Nah, he wasn't too bad."
3. Janet had to spend a lot of time standing right next to Matthew Fox (waiting for "Action!"), and he was making her pretty nervous. Remember how she was supposed to drop off a piece of paper on the desk and then retrieve it to start all over again? To help her out, I wrote messages on the paper between takes. Messages like, "Janet is chickens**t for not flirting with Matthew Fox!" and, "Tell Hotboy to smile! He's depressing the rest of us!" Every new message would make her laugh, and then she spent her waiting time hiding the paper so Matthew Fox wouldn't see it!
4. Remember the huge stone wall in the picture? Well, there was a pile of people behind that wall. Some were stand-ins (Ned's stand-in was a very nice ESL teacher named Paul), a few were production guys (including Gail's boy-toy object, Dustin), but there were also a few staff members from The Arcadia specifically there to wrangle patients wandering by.
THE FUNNIEST DAMN THING
One of the old people wandering by was this little old lady - white hair in a tight bun, small, bony, wrinkled, huge thick glasses - everything a crabby old lady should be. She was wheeling her oxygen tank behind her (with those tube thingys in her nose), and she went straight for a wall phone and started making a call. Unfortunately, that wall phone was right next to where Janet, MF and Ned were waiting, AND it was at the exact moment right before the director calls action, when everyone is completely silent and ready to go.
One of the staff wranglers tried to talk her back behind the wall, but she wasn't having it. She (loudly) said she was calling a taxi because she had a doctor's appointment [You stupid bitch!], shook off the handler and proceeded with her business. So the ENTIRE room full of people, still silently standing at attention ready for "Action." had to listen to this now thoroughly irritated old lady call for a cab. When she was done, she wheeled her tank straight out the front door, oblivious to Janet, Matthew Fox and Ned hopping out of her way. Once she was gone, the director called Action! and things went on as usual.
Except now I was face down on the desk silently laughing my ass off.
I kept laughing, too, while Ned was "talking" to me, and he started to crack up! He said, "You're going to get me in trouble!" and from then on when he pretended to "talk" to me, he made a joke of it like, "You better start taking your job seriously, missy!" or "I expect my staff to remain professional!"
[I can't emphasize how nice Ned was. He was totally excited to be there, too. He even asked for a call sheet at the end of the day to keep as a souvenir!]
Eventually, I did end up on screen. Norman pulled me out to pin a piece of paper on a bulletin board over Jack's Grandad's shoulder. You can just barely see me in this picture. [My profound apologies to Raymond J. Barry for the horrible picture!]"HE'S JUST AN ASS!"
Right before Sherry left Hawai'i for good, a big group of us took her to dinner. I asked her all about her latest stint on LOST. As I mentioned before, she was a female pilot in the background of "316," which she said was a HUGE shoot. She also said that Jorge Garcia and Naveen Andrews were pretty funny. Naveen joked about being "naughty" when he walked back and forth in handcuffs, and Jorge Garcia noted that Sherry was the first female pilot he'd ever seen on LOST. He said, "Well, you're definitely gonna be sucked into a vortex and disappear!"Sherry actually worked that scene twice. She was one of a handful of extras called back for reshoots [where they fix something small that didn't work the first time]. The second time around, she was also on set when "Jack" saves "Sayid" after he gets darted (Sherry was a nurse). I said that sounded pretty cool to me.
Then she looked me dead-on, COMPLETELY annoyed, and said, "Matthew Fox is an ass."
This totally cracked me up, partly because I've never seen Sherry so offended (interesting note: Offended Sherry is really fun when you get a few drinks in her)!
Apparently, MF got all irritated when Sherry's group of extras were in his line of sight during the "Save Sayid" scene. He tried to shoo them away without looking or speaking to them. After he started to get annoyed [that they didn't understand basic Hollywood sign language for "move outta my line of sight"], a PA interceded and told them to move so he couldn't see them. THEN later, when they were all eating together (the handful of them), MF deliberately and succinctly passed the group by (without a nod, a word or anything "resembling a human being").
I argued with Offended Sherry (because it's totally fun), but I didn't get very far. Matthew Fox is "an ass, an ass, an ass," and that's all Sherry had to say about that!
"THE MATTHEW FOX"
But I don't buy it. I mean, maybe MF is a total jerk-- I dunno.* I have no clue what he's "really" like. However, I think I can make a solid case that he's not trying to be "an ass" on set.
I've been able to observe him on set both in and out of "The Pocket." When he's in "The Pocket," there is a definable zone around him [and other stars, too, let's be clear on that] created by the production that keeps extras away. When he's waiting for his turn, it's in a quiet place removed from everyone else, and when he's on set, there are people around him that discourage zone violation like a passive buffer, OR his location discourages interaction outside of the production staff (like if he's standing at a podium, for instance).
However, when he's OUT of "The Pocket," he's on his own, and, from what I can tell, he somehow creates his own zone (and it WORKS).
(Remember - he's not the only one who does this. E. Lilly is pretty good at this, too, from what I've observed. However, I think her dismal performance in nearly every written interview probably helps.)**
Have you ever been in a room, like an office, and happily chatting with a few other people while someone's on the phone when all of a sudden the room goes completely quiet because that phone conversation suddenly turned serious? Ask yourself, how did you know you shouldn't chat anymore? You can't hear the conversation. All you can do is "feel" like it's time to shut up because something big is happening and you shouldn't disturb the guy on the phone in any way.
Same thing when you're on an airplane. Ever get settled next to someone and KNOW that they are NOT interested in talking to you? They aren't rude to you or anything, but you can "feel" it, right? They've shut down every possible avenue of interaction, but they do it non-verbally.
From what I can tell, when he's out of "The Pocket," Matthew Fox is VERY adept at turning on the "don't talk or look at me" vibe (like on the airplane). I've even heard him mention this in an interview, I think at last year's Comi-con. He said something to the effect that he "walks around expecting not to be approached" and that's why he's able to walk the floor like the rest of us without being mobbed by fans.
He's even able to vary the level of this vibe to the point where it can actually make you feel like you're intruding just by mentally noting his existence. I kid you not, if you are sensitive or unfamiliar with this vibe, it feels like emotional radiation. (Janet said she was crawling right out of her skin from being next to him so long.)
And I understand it, in my own very-VERY-removed-from-the-weird-world-that-is-celebrity way, because a celebrity's existence is "customer service." No matter what anyone does to them or around them, they HAVE to keep their game faces on. What better way to keep your game face on than to prevent interaction entirely?
THE XY FACTOR
I had a great time on set, again, even though MF was RIGHT THERE and doing "The Matthew Fox" with gusto. I just pretended that he didn't exist, period! I didn't even have to use Jennifer's Theory of Celebrities to do it. I did it out of sheer politeness!
The simple truth is that I feel sorry for celebrities. Kinda like you feel sorry for elephants in the zoo. Elephants are very cool to observe close up, but if you think about it, watching them penned up can be really sad. It's even sadder when you realize that zoo elephants have never lived in the wild. They have no idea what they're missing! They happily eat their peanuts, and as long as they don't step on anyone, they'll be carefully cared for (and closely observed) all their lives (or until they overdose on prescription painkillers).
Sad, right?
At the tail end of shooting, MF was back in "The Pocket," protected by the stone wall, a piano and some crew members. When that happened, I saw him laugh and participate in a brief belching contest with Uber P.A. and the camera guys.
And I smiled because, in the end, even celebrities can't deny one universal truth that applies to all humanity: a man is just a man, and deep down inside, all men are immature idiots!
THE END
* This one's for you, "Thanks For Sharing!"
** FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, will somebody PLEASE buy that girl a publicist!
